He Says I’m Great But Doesn’t Want a Relationship – What Should I Do? – Deep Soulful Love

by Kat Peoples – Ph.D., LMHC, LPC, Amy Sherman – M.A., LMHC, Margot Escott – MSW, LCSW, Dana Hall – LCPC, MA, TF-CBT

# Quit taking it personally

Margot Escott

Many men have reasons why they don’t want a relationship and it often has nothing to do with you. 

I love the acronym Q-Tip. Quit Taking It Personally!

There’s a line we often hear in comedies that have become a cliché. “It’s more about me than it is about you.” We can laugh at that thought unless it’s happening to ourselves.

If you have been “seeing” a man – going to movies, having coffees, and sharing meals – you have a friend! 

Perhaps you received “signals” that he wanted a more intimate relationship with you or you were imagining a different relationship and confronted him. You got the response that he “doesn’t want a relationship”.

Well, if you are already friends, you Do have a relationship. 

The “R” word gets bandied about and many of us consider it to mean a committed, intimate partnership. But relationships can have many forms.

We have relationships with our family, siblings, and friends. 

In these relationships, the only expectations are to be a friend, which means honoring commitments, honesty, trust, and other values. But when we set expectations with someone, like an intimate relationship, we may be misreading the signs.

I’ve had many “boyfriends” in my life and a few really good male friends. These are men that I can hang out with, share ideas with, and just be myself with any of the anxiety that often accompanies “Intimate” relationships.

Having male friends, and that is a relationship, is wonderful in so many ways. 

It can help us to better understand men, especially when they enjoy and appreciate me.  And besides, the best way to have a friend is to be a friend.

Margot Escott, MSW, LCSW – www.margotescott.com

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